Campaigns by James Knapp

1. 

   Help Me Self-Publish My Children’s Book That Makes It Painfully Clear That Grandma is Dead

   52 backers

   $1,458 raised of $5,000

2. 

   ‘Ello Guvnah! ‘Ave Ya Got a Ha’penny to Spare?

   0 backers

   $0 raised of $0.005

3. 

   Help Me Fix up This Abandoned Firehouse So That We Can Finally Start Gentrifying This Neighborhood

   284 backers

   $5,625 raised of $30,000

5. 

   An Annoying High-Pitched Whistle That Only Tucker Carlson Can Hear

   105,898 backers

   $3,897,450 raised of $75

6. 

   This Boy Was Raised by Some Wolves I Shot. Now I Need To Get Him New Wolves.

   3,000 backers

   $27 raised of $461

7. 

   This Might Not Be the Right Platform for This but I’m Trying to Sell My ’98 Hyundai Sonata if Anyone’s Interested

   0 backers

   $0 raised of $5,000

8. 

   I’m Planning an Expedition to the South Pole. I’ll Need a Hogshead of Salt Sausage and Ten Men Stout of Heart

   926 backers

   $17,644 raised of $45,000

9. 

   I Offered to Buy My Friends Pizza if They Helped Me Move a Grand Piano up All These Stairs and Apparently They Thought I Was Serious

   0 backers

   $2 raised of $12

10. 

    Help! I Forgot It Was Valentine’s Day and This Guy on the Side of the Highway Charges $9 per Flower

    3 backers

    $18 raised of $100

11. 

    I Misplaced My Rare Copy of Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl”. Now I Need to Replace the Acid I Had Hidden Inside It

    3 backers

    $29 raised of $80

12. 

    This Is a Hold Up! Hand It Over!

    0 backers

    $0 raised of $200,000

13. 

    A COVID Vaccine That Also Grows Your Dick 5 Inches Bigger in Under Two Weeks

    824 backers

    $43,637 raised of $100,000

14. 

    OH FUCK! OH FUCK! I CLOGGED MY FRIEND’S TOILET AND THERE’S NO PLUNGER IN HERE!

    11 backers

    14 out of 1 plungers raised

15. 

    BRAINS! BRAINS! BRAINS!

    0 backers

    0 out of 10,000 brains raised

16. 

    Help Me Find Homes for My Offspring Before I’m Forced To Eat Them

    6 backers

    9 out of 24 homes raised