Shit! Shit! Shit! I’m really up a creek here. Long story short: I‘m at a friend of friend’s, and I had to take what I thought was gonna be a mild poop but it was way heftier than I thought. Turns out this low-flow toilet can’t suck it down and now I need a plunger like four minutes ago.
Seriously, the sludge is already starting to rise, and this is not a deep bowl! If I don’t deal with this soon it’s going to be up to my shins. This is a really nice bathroom too, with like fancy soaps and two sets of tweezers, and there is no way they’d believe me if I said it was like this when I got in here.
I don’t even know this friend that well. We’ve hung out at the bar a few times but always with other people. Then they invited me to this get together at their place and I figured I’d just drop by to be polite, but that lamb salad I had for lunch went right through me and now I’m pretty sure if I leave this bathroom like this I’m gonna have to move to a different state.
Oh crap! Someone just knocked on the door. Should I say something? Shit! Now they’re jiggling the doorknob. What if they keep trying to come in? Or wait outside the door until I’m done? It smells like a burning animal shelter in here, there’s no way they’re not gonna notice that.
Okay, I need this plunger immediately. I’m gonna open the window here and whoever my generous donor turns out to be (by the way, thank you in advance) just toss it up to me and I’ll toss down some cash. If you toss up some extra towels as well then we can call that a higher reward tier and I’ll throw down some high end bath products too. Just don’t get too close to the house when you toss it up. I can’t afford for you to get spotted by my friends and have to explain what you’re actually doing here.