Well, this is pretty shitty. The other day I was out hunting feral dogs and I mistakenly shot a few majestic grey wolves as well. An honest accident, I know. But only after did I realize that there was a stray human child, that these wolves had apparently been raising as one of their own, roaming with the pack.
Yeah, it’s pretty fucked up. But I intend to pursue the noble course of action in this situation. I’m gonna get this wild boy some new wolves to raise him.
Now I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I haven’t decided to raise the boy myself or called child protective services. To make a long story short, and to keep in full compliance with the NDA I have with the Fish and Game Commission, let’s just say I’m really busy right now, okay.
So that’s where we’re at. Good news though: I did find a friend of mine, who we’ll just call Freeman McSovereign-State, who is willing to sell me a few extra wolves he’s got to look after this boy at least until he hits puberty.
I don’t think we’ll need to spring for any extra cash to train them or anything. I mean after all, wolves are wolves. Just let them get used to his scent and everything will probably work out fine.
I’ll be honest with you, I think I may have done the kid a favor here. I mean those wolves barely put up a fight. Not great animal parents in my opinion.
Donate whatever you can so this boy can get some new, quality wolves to act as de facto guardians. If we don’t reach our goal then, well, I guess the kid is on his own. It’ll probably be fine. He seems pretty used to the wild.
Also, if anyone is interested in buying some wolf carcasses check out my post on craigslist. They are 100% guaranteed to have died with unconditional and unconventional love in their hearts.