The public is facing a shortage of face masks during this devastating pandemic. Self-made ones are annoying to make and hard to fit properly. That’s why I’m currently engaging in a humanitarian effort to get more face masks out there by making a batch out of all the flannels I’ve stolen from guys’ closets over the years. And I need your help!
I’ve got an uncountable collection of these shirts piled in the corner of my room which makes me feel weird, so I plan on crafting a significant amount of face masks to give to the public. Every mask will be made with the same love that I thought I felt for some of these guys, so each snug fit will be extra comforting during traumatic times.
This is a project that I’m extremely passionate about. Mostly because I believe we all need to do our part in helping contain the spread of this deadly disease, but also because I’m tired of running into one of my former lovers while I’m wearing their flannel and having to leave before they ask for it back.
All of the shirts have been washed, so no one will be breathing in stale weed or ass. However, I have a few unwashed ones for those who want to go about their day breathing in a subtle hint of Axe Anarchy.
Plus, these masks come in all different styles, including:
– Classic Red and Black
– Dad Plaid
– Bumblebee-Looking Ass Yellow
– Thrift Store Shopper, Neutral Milk Hotel Fan Green and Brown
But in order to help the world out with the discards of my exes, former guy-friends, and fuck buddies, I first need your help. It’s crucial that we speed up production, which is why I need a new sewing machine. My old one broke because I was on an Etsy tote bag making binge (still available for $50 each).
So please consider donating and helping out the public. The first five people to donate $20 or more will receive free pairs of sanitary gloves, which are also just normal gloves that some of the more polite guys have given me in the morning before walking back from their place in the winter.