There’s nothing more important and cherished in this world than the life of a child. Us God-fearing men know this, but unfortunately, it becomes hard for us to resist the urge to let these little crotch goblins run wild in women’s uteruses. But now, you can support our nonprofit, LockUpForLife, which aims to provide proud conservative men with sturdy, rigid, and erection-proof chastity belts that will keep unwanted little ones where they belong.
LockUpForLife’s mission statement starts with the idea that if our failed leaders in Washington aren’t going to regulate cock and balls, then we the people will do so. Each belt that we provide to a horny young man is designed to stay on 24/7 and comes equipped with a bulletproof, sack-tightening locking seal that will guarantee to repel any woman looking to engage in irresponsible sexual activity. No more need for you as a male to tell pro-abortion ladies to “close their legs for once”, because now you can proudly tell them, “my pecker is closed for good!”
Our operations at the moment are small, but our goal this year is to ensure that no man who loves America has a raging boner that isn’t concealed by impenetrable metal. Your donations will help us keep our principled men in place, and if you contribute $100 or more, we’ll even send you a few belts so that your sons and your husband can strap on too!
Let’s let God know that we’re doing literally everything we can—and should—to keep America an abortion-free country! Send your donation today!
UPDATE: Hello! We hope you’re having a blessed day. We at LockUpForLife wanted to remind folks that these chastity belts are by NO MEANS meant to be used during BDSM roleplaying as a lot of you have pointed out. DO NOT USE THEM FOR THAT unless you’re actually trying to conceive.