Uh, hey everyone. Sorry, I was trying to open the Dominoes app ‘cause they’ve got that cheesy bread I like. I don’t know, my phone’s just being a real piece of shit right now. I spilled a little whiskey on it earlier and now it’s all sticky and glitchy and intoxicating and also I’m running low on whiskey.
But anyway, how are you my dudes?
So what’s all this anyway, like some kind of money thing? Can I get whiskey instead? I think Elon Musk was working on something to do with internet whiskey. Did that ever go anywhere?
Man, I don’t even know how I logged in here. Pretty sure I only downloaded this app to be supportive back when Daniel had that whole thing with his dog’s vet bills but really he was just trying to buy a trampoline. Rememeber how fucking funny that was? Classic Daniel.
Oh, dammit! Now I spilled my vodka too. If I lick it off my phone is it gonna do anything to me, like give me cancer or a permanent erection or something? Pretty sure the liquor store’s closed right now. Fuck it, I’m going in. jwdssea awECBrt yjeWDer rewhwHKTYMitiubntyddtyx
Alright, well I gotta get back to work on this Dominoes project I got going on. Hey! Anybody wanna come over and hang out? If you bring booze I’ll share some of my cheesy bread with you.
You should probably hurry up though ‘cause I think I licked my phone too hard and now it’s not looking good. Peace dudes!