This morning, while my three-headed pupper was dutifully guarding the gates to the underworld, I noticed that he was very lethargic and not his usual fun-filled self. Turns out, Cerberus got into some chocolate that a soul had left in his pockets as he passed through (despite numerous signs telling him to leave all earthly possession behind before entering), and now my poor dog is in need of emergency surgery to save his life.
The vet has told me that the procedure is going to be costly as they’ve never operated on any mythical animals before, meaning they’re going to have to deal with a whole host of unknown organs. Furthermore, they’ll have to put him under heavy anesthesia, and there’s no guarantee it’ll quell the numerous venomous serpents that protrude from his body, trying to kill anyone who comes close. Unfortunately, I’ve had no need for mortal money up until this point, so I have to resort to the internet to help pay for this vital surgery.
Cerberus means more to me than all the souls and foul creatures in my domain combined. I remember when he was just a tiny little puppy learning how to jostle souls to their permanent home of darkness and gloom. I love him very very much, even if I sometimes have to clean up after him when he poops where he’s not supposed to in the underworld.
Anything you can give is more than enough for a desperate god in need. While I so famously am eager for the death of all living creatures, Cerberus is the one exception. Plus, I can’t lose my best guard for the underworld with all these pesky heroes trying to waltz in to rescue their loved ones.