Hello, I’m creating this fundraiser on behalf of all of the individuals who have been mooching off my mental space over the past few months without giving me anything in return.
These people include:
-my slightly-racist conservative uncle who posts ten times a day on Facebook
-my ex-boyfriend
-my ex-boyfriend’s mother (she’s the fucking worst of them all)
-some kid who called me ugly in middle school
It’s honestly about time that they cough up some money for freely lounging around my neural pathways without even being invited in the first place. I’m not running a charity here. Unfortunately, they’re all unemployed and have no means of paying me in the near future, so that’s why I’m reaching out to see if any kind soul is able to cover their broke asses.
I wish that I could vouch for their characters, but they’re all terrible. Just know that helping to pay their long overdue rent for residing in my hippocampus would be a blessing to myself and myself only.
I’ve finally worked up the courage to serve an eviction notice with the help of my therapist, but even so, I still need just compensation for giving them a nice, warm, comfortable place to stay while I endlessly listen their inane arguments and snide comments that they’ve made in the past, such as “Abortion is anti-freedom” and “Are you going to balloon up again?”
Please donate if you can! I need money soon as I’m also behind on the rent for my apartment.