Hello, my name is Rebbeca Barnett and I’m a recent college graduate/former employee at Sunnyacres Day Camp. Unfortunately, as some of you may know, I have fallen on hard times as I’m discovering that my sole work experience of being a summer camp counselor has completely fucked me over in getting a full-time job.

Here’s my situation:

Back when I was 16, I decided to work at the same day camp I went to as a child because, for me, it was the happiest place on earth. And throughout the years, I forwent many summer internships so I could continue to come back and put smiles on all of my lovely campers’ faces. But now that I’m done with college, I’m starting to learn that tie-dying, organizing gaga tournaments, or touching a child’s life aren’t transferable skills that job recruiters are looking for.

That’s why I’m asking for help as I’m currently unemployed and don’t know when I’ll find work again. I was really banking on standing out among other applicants through my “exceptional leadership experience” and “impeccable problem-solving abilities,” but as it turns out, I’m actually just embellishing the fact that I was a glorified babysitter who dealt with too many bathroom incidents and got rewarded with rubbery, square pizza on Fridays. And it’s not like I achieved much professional networking at the camp either since most of my coworkers were just dipshit teenagers whose parents were forcing them to get a summer job. I really screwed myself here, guys.

All I’m asking for is enough money for me to get by as I try to find a somewhat decent unpaid internship so that I can actually get my life started. The only savings I have is the $4,500 I made over the past six summers working at the camp, but I doubt it’s going to last me much longer. If you can find it in your heart to help this down-on-their-luck former Sunnyacres counselor, I’d be forever grateful.

Worst comes to worst, I’m probably going to work at the camp again this summer because they’re kind of desperate for people and offered to raise my salary an extra $50.