What’s up everyone? It’s Christian Slater, star of the hit TV series “Mr. Robot,” here to let you all know which individual out of the many bankrupt sick people you should be charitable towards today.
We could really use your help. 12-year-old Matthew Sanchez from Houston was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor. It’s a tragic disease that inflicts about 80,000 people each year. Luckily, Matthew appeared in my feed when I was doing an arbitrary search through Instagram today, so at least one of them is going to make it under my watch.
The big issue right now for the family is finding money for the surgery and treatments. This isn’t uncommon as countless amounts of patients in our healthcare system run up massive bills that they need help paying for with online crowdfunding. Unfortunately, there are just too many people in medical debt online to choose from, but that’s why we have famous successful people, like yours truly, to make that choice for you.
The other medical fundraisers out there are also important and should be given consideration, but I think that helping out young Matthew right here is going to give you the most bang for your buck. I mean, I don’t know him personally, but it said in his bio that he wants to grow up to be a chef and that seems like a cool dream. Also his fundraising video adorably showed him dancing to “Old Town Road” and damn does that kid have moves!
So if there’s anything you can give to this family in need, they would appreciate it wholeheartedly. And I’ll see you all the next time I help guide the charitable public towards interesting and exciting new candidates.
Also, please no one comment on my social media asking for help with their medical or personal needs. It’s selfishly diverting attention away from my man Matthew.