Hey everyone, Bev and Bob here! Earlier this summer was a tough time for us, as we came very close to breaking up for the fourth time. After days of screaming at each other, we decided that it was time to distract ourselves with the sweetest dog we could find. We named her Fluffernutter.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work out as we had hoped. After a few weeks, Fluffernutter’s cuteness completely faded. It was clearly just an “in the moment” kind of thing. We found ourselves passive aggressively breaking each other’s possessions just like we did before. Now we fear that we wasted such a good dog name on such a basic looking dog. To be fair, we couldn’t find a sublet for Bev’s room, so we were acting in desperation.
In hindsight, she only seemed cute because of how ugly the other dogs at the kennel looked in comparison. Maybe it’s our fault for not getting a purebred and instead going cheap. Either way we definitely need a puppy—one so cute that all the backstabbing in the world can be ignored the minute that she prances into the room.
With your money, we can ensure that we get the most adorable dog imaginable. Maybe a Chow Chow! Everyone who donates will be updated with our cutest pics as well as the occasional private message for when we feel like cheating on each other again.
Thanks for any contributions. Our relationship is really relying on this new puppy. Unless of course, you can recommend a great, canine plastic surgeon for Fluffernutter.