In the midst of life, we are faced with death, and arranging the affairs that accompany the passing of a loved one compounds normal human grieving into a maelstrom of sorrow for those of us left behind. It is for this reason that I’m selling those wacky inflatable tube men you see at car dealerships, but for graves.
Listen, you’re already working your way through the grieving process for this deceased special person and this loved one deserves something different, don’t they? You could go for the normal memorial wreath or flowers, but why not personalize their gravesite with an eye-catching air puppet that flops around like it’s a teenage girl who just saw BTS at a Denny’s? Donate to my innovation so that those grieving can show the world that their loved one was a bombastic personality who loved to dance probably.
Okay, I get it. Not everyone is ready for a memorial thrashing tube man, but I have a warehouse full of these goo-gahs that suggest otherwise. Are you Italian? We have a tube man with a big chef’s hat that says “Mama mia, that’sa beautiful pizza pie!” Is your family Irish? Then honor your proud heritage with a tube man wearing a green shirt that says “You Must be Irish Because My Dingus is Dublin!”
So when the time comes to honor your loved ones, please eschew the insincere overdone funeral traditions and instead send their spirit off with some class and dignity that says “This was a life well lived.” or “Churros Half Off!” And if you don’t donate, not only will your loved ones be disappointed, but I’ll have to return the ones I already bought to Party City for 10 cents on the dollar and isn’t that its own kind of tragedy?
Photo Credit: Brandon Puff