Does anyone have four cents or maybe a nickel?! I really don’t want ninety-six cents jangling around in my pocket for the rest of the day. I left my debit card at home or I wouldn’t even be trying to use cash to pay for this Beefy 5-Layer Burrito.
This guy at the register must be the manager because he isn’t willing to waive four measly cents. Come on buddy, cut a guy a break. Do you really think that this Taco Bell is going to shut down over four pennies?! You know we used to live in a time when a dish of pennies was left by the register for times just like this, but I guess people just don’t care about one another anymore. This is why society is collapsing.
Update: It is now 11:45p.m. and I’m standing here in my pajamas. Won’t anyone please just help me out? I refuse to believe none of you have change in your pocket! Everyone in this line has families and Beefy 5-Layer Burritos to get to but I am not going to move until someone helps me out.
Okay, look, I have a little bit of weed left in this baggie. I would give this to anyone for four goddamn cents. This is probably like three bucks worth of weed. Please don’t make me break a dollar over this. I beg of you. I’ll come back tomorrow with the money, how about that? I come here all the time.
If you send me home with ninety-six cents I am going to lose most of it and the rest is just going to sit on my nightstand for six months before it falls behind it for the next seven years. How about Venmo. Can I Venmo you four cents?
If you decide to help me out, please pledge your 4 cents, and I’ll email you the location to drop it off. If not, then I guess I’ll just fucking add Cinnamon Twists to my order.