Hello family, friends, generous strangers, and eccentric billionaires looking for a write-off.
There comes a time in every American’s life where they are faced with medical bills that they simply cannot handle alone. I am not yet at the moment. But I’d like to be ready.
Just to remind everyone, I AM fine. I do have some back pain and a suspicious cough, but I’m not really worried about it. I’m saving up for cancer, a debilitating car crash, or a hunting accident.
Though my campaign to refurbish a broken steamroller and run over used Amazon boxes that I’ve written the words “critical race theory” over had failed, I am trying JumpKick again, but this time for medical insurance. My health so far is clean but you never know when you might get too sleepy behind the wheel pulling a double working for Uber Eats and Lyft at the same time.
I think it’s a shame that less and less Americans are able to have extra income to blow on jet skis, a new laptop, or, ya know, insulin. If I’m working OT, it should be going straight into my beer fund, not my insurance premiums.
More than 12 million Americans say they have started a crowdfunding campaign to help someone outside of their immediate family afford their medical bills. Now it’s time for you to help me out. For when I need it later.