As many of you know, my relationship with my father has been strained ever since I refused to follow him into the family aluminum siding business. We haven’t been talking much over the past few months, and I feel like an absolute failure. But it’s alright because I’ve learned that Bob Saget will say anything I ask him to in a Cameo video for just $349!
I know the amount I’m asking is a lot, but this is a wish that’s very dear to my heart. If each of you can just chip in a few bucks, America’s dad will gently nod his head in an understanding way, smile, and say, “Look, I just want you to know, that no matter what, I’ll always be proud of you.”
“Awwww.” The sound of an unseen crowd will punctuate our emotional connection.
Saccharine music will play and I’ll say, “Really, even if I want to pursue my dream of owning my own dog cupcake business instead of installing aluminum siding?”
Then Bob Saget will break the tension with a joke, saying, “Of course. So long as you clean your bedroom once in a while!”
We’ll smile and laugh, and for the first time in my life, I’ll feel valued. All this, for less than the price of two of my regular therapy sessions!
Please support my dream. If I go over my goal, maybe I can get John Stamos to say to me I don’t need anyone to tell me that I’m cool, or Dave Coulier can cheer me up by talking like Popeye.