Terrorists, rival party members, concerned citizens, nosy environmentalists, and freethinkers can all make dogmatically commanding a nation difficult, and sometimes they need to be removed without prompting a litigious human rights investigation. Our startup has recognized this issue, and after years of tireless development, we’ve finally perfected a device that will tenderly eliminate anyone preventing you from running your country, nation-state, or province at its best.
The LUV-427 is the most advanced piece of humanitarian weaponry on the planet and will put your government and the public’s conscience at ease. No more irritating international sanctions. No more civilian animosity towards your reasonable political goals. With our new, state of the art military drone, your nation will become a shining beacon of a more humane wartime century.
Here are some of the technological advancements we’ve made in civilized slaughter:
I’ll Get the Check
Last meals are a ubiquitous way to show respect to the humanity of perpetrators sentenced to death. That’s why our LUV-427 is equipped with an internal cooking station that will prepare all of your targets’ favorite cuisines. Just simply input what you want cooked, and the drone will soon be ready to deploy a delicious dish at the target’s feet that they’ll have two minutes to consume before being efficiently disposed of. It’s Postmates for your victims.
Weekend at Chili’s
With this breakthrough setting, the LUV-427 will inject a lethal hallucinogenic anaesthetic into your mark and project a realistic hologram of a Chili’s happy hour after a long, fulfilling work week. The drone will take the appearance of a benevolent barkeep and allow your enemy to sloppily utter their aspirations, darkest secrets, and cheerful ruminations before it gently tucks them into the parking lot of an abandoned paint factory or somewhere discreet.
Most Dangerous Game
This sequence is fully transparent. The drone will explain to your target that they will be hunted before providing them with ample provisions and weapons to survive for several weeks. At the moment your nonconformist has become courageous enough to fight for their life, the LUV-427 will mercifully end the contest.
So if you’re a head of state who’s serious about establishing their power over the world but not ready to deal with the political fallout from your people or international investors, consider backing the LUV-427. If you’re just an average, everyday citizen, we still hope to see the small support you can give towards our goal for a deadly but brighter future.
Stretch Goal:
If we can hit 500 million dollars in funding, we’ll make our drones more accurate in order to minimize humane killings of civilians.