Hello citizens of Earth; this is Son Goku. I have had success with crowdfunding anytime I needed to make a spirit bomb, so I wanted to try again. You might remember that time that Mr. Satan asked you to help me out by putting your arms in the air to defeat Majin Buu. Now I come to you all because my best friend Krillin died, again, and I kind of need your help bringing him back.
Normally, I would go out and collect the Dragon Balls, which are like these magical orange balls with stars in the middle of them that summon a giant wish-granting dragon after you collect all 7. Except Vegeta broke the dragon ball radar while training and Bulma refuses to make a new one until I apologize for all those times I patted her vagina as a kid. But that’s not my fault. I genuinely couldn’t tell! So that’s why I need you to keep an eye out for them.
Realistically, if I get these balls again, maybe I should just wish for Krillin to be immortal. I mean first he was killed by Drum, then by Freeza, then by Majin Buu, then by Super 17. So making him immortal would keep us from going through this whole ordeal again. What’s really ironic is that this time he actually died after slipping on a dragonball and hitting his head. It’s like come on Krillin, you can fly? How the hell can you even trip?
My know-it-all son, Gohan, thinks that maybe it’s time to let Krillin go and stay in Other World just because we know there’s a heaven and that he ends up there. He says maybe we could use the power of the Dragon Balls to change the world for the better by, for example, making sure Naan’s drought stricken village has enough water for everyone. But without Krillin, who am I supposed to train with? Besides Tien, Piccolo, Vegeta, Majin Buu, 18, Beerus, my actual children, and any of the wide variety of people/aliens/androids/gods whose massive power dwarf and have ultimately made Krillin irrelevant as a Z fighter.
When you consider how many times I have saved the people of Earth from complete annihilation, then I think the least you could do is send me a Dragon Ball if you find it. Just don’t give it to Chichi lest she wish that I spend more time with the kids. Oh, and if King Kai asks, just tell him I’ll totally be wishing him back from the dead right after Krillin. I definitely owe him after accidentally killing him.