Have you ever purchased produce? Have you ever tried to open a standard produce bag? The one that feels the way an ultra-thin condom should? It’s like trying to separate a single layer of plastic wrap. You rub it and pull at it until you’ve accidentally torn it apart. Then you try opening it like a paper snapper, but it doesn’t snap. You just wave it flaccidly through the air, cursing to yourself as you realize people are looking at you. Finally, you get the bag open and you gently place your organic, fair trade avocados into the opening only to have it split apart at the seams. There has to be a better way!
Well there is a better way! Just a Goddamn Plastic Produce Bag That Opens Easily is the first goddamn plastic produce bag that opens easily. How do we do it? A standard plastic produce bag exists in only two dimensions—length and height—making it impossible for it to hold complex objects like kiwis or asparagus. Just a Goddamn Plastic Produce Bag That Opens Easily alleviates this issue by using patented three-dimensional technology. That’s right—length, height and DEPTH!
If you’ve given up and simply carry your produce in a hammock made out of the belly of your shirt, this bag is for you. If you’ve ever lost a hard-fought battle with a roll of microscopically thin plastic in the produce section of a Kroger, this bag will make your life right again. If you only eat canned vegetables because of the trauma reaction you get when you think of fresh produce, this bag will change your life.
If you’ve given up and simply carry your produce in a hammock made out of the belly of your shirt, this bag is for you. If you’ve ever lost a hard-fought battle with a roll of microscopically thin plastic in the produce section of a Kroger, this bag will make your life right again. If you only eat canned vegetables because of the trauma reaction you get when you think of fresh produce, this bag will change your life.
We currently have 3-D CAD renderings of what a three-dimensional plastic produce bag will look like and already 3-D printed a fully-functioning prototype. Support Just a Goddamn Plastic Produce Bag That Opens Easily now so we can begin production and get these miracle containers in every grocery store across the world!
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8933 backers A Lifetime Supply of Goddamn Plastic Produce Bags That Opens Easily! Never again splatter a tomato on the grocery store floor because your bag wasn’t open enough for it to easily slide into.