I made a mistake, okay? Like, obviously my boyfriend made a bigger mistake, but it was my fault for trusting him. I’d just used my last tampon and was short on time, and certainly should have known better. But does trying to shortcut my way out of toxic shock syndrome mean that I have to reap the financial consequences of my boyfriend’s two-hour trip to CVS for years to come? I don’t think so.

I really thought that he knew what a tampon looked like! I sent him a picture of my brand and everything. There are like six shelves dedicated to them at the CVS he went to. The packages even SAY ‘tampons’ on them. I think that he got overwhelmed. He told me that he panicked, which, like, isn’t unreasonable? Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned reproductive justice when he responded with ‘ew, gross’ when I requested the favor. I think that sent him into some sort of male fragility-induced fugue state? That certainly explains why he doesn’t remember checking out or driving home. 

I know what you’re thinking, and I already returned what I could and it didn’t help much. You expect CVS to take back six cartons of milk, extra-wide dental floss, and three used plungers? Yeah, as soon as he got home, he clogged our toilet and tried to fit all three plungers in the bowl at once. Honestly, the plumbing bill is mostly what I’m on here for. 

Please donate. I’m desperate here. I’ll never make this mistake again, I swear. He wrecked my credit score and now I’ve got like $700 of debt that I can’t pay off unless I skip future tampon-acquisition trips to work overtime, which we all know isn’t an option.