Look, this isn’t complicated. My point is pretty clear: I’m raising $10 000 for the express purpose of soaking it with gas and burning it to ashes, because frankly, it would look really cool. No other reason.
I was inspired by the greatest moments in money-burning cinema: The Dark Knight, John Wick, and Superman IV. Seeing badass dudes incinerate a huge pile of cash awoke something in me. I couldn’t stop rewinding those scenes to watch them over and over again, my heart pounding. Plus, I just watched the episode of Breaking Bad where Jesse threatens to burn Walt’s money and I took it as a sign.
Last week, at 3a.m., my roommate woke me from sleep-walking; I’d thrown all of my books into a big pile and was pouring orange juice all over them. He told me that if I did it again I’d have to move out, so I knew that the only way to get this out of my system was to actually torch ten grand.
A lot of people have asked if this is a sexual thing, like some sort of weird anarcho-arsonist fetish? Honestly, I’m not even sure myself, and even if it is, I accept who I am. But there’s only one way that I can know for sure: raising $10 000, cashing it out in $20 denominations, covering it in accelerant, and throwing a lit book of matches on it. My scalp is tingling just thinking about it.
Honestly, tell people whatever you want. Say it’s a performance art project, tell them it’s a protest against capitalism. Hell, tell your rich friends and family that it’s a protest for capitalism! Just get them to donate.
I am telling you, I will do whatever it takes to make this cash bonfire a reality. Except of course, spend my own money. Please donate and share!