‘Sup? I’m Paul, and I’m the 26-year-old CEO of a tech startup for an idea that I still haven’t decided on. But that’s not why I’m here.

Today, I’m asking for your help because I have a feeling that I’m about to incur another overdraft fee from my bank. How do I know about this impending charge? Just a hunch, really. I have no idea what my bank balance is, and I could easily check, but I prefer to just vibe it out. I’m not about that money-obsessed lifestyle society jams down our throats by constantly reminding us when we’re out of money. I’d rather use my intuition—how wealthy do I feel today? Is the moon full? Do I get paid this Friday or next? These are the questions I ask myself before adding another round of drinks to my weekly bar tab.

Perhaps one day we can stop banks from imposing these predatory overdraft fees. Who knows, maybe we can put an end to declined cards altogether—that’s actually a pretty good idea for my startup. But until then, please help me send a message to my particular bank that we won’t tolerate this penalty that I have maybe, probably invoked. Again, I can’t be sure, but I need your generous donations just in case.