Hey, Stacey here—formerly of Sam and Stacey. Your donations will go directly to therapy to help me get over my ex-boyfriend Sam, who cheated… again.
I know that you’re all tired of hearing me talk to you about my relationship problems. I hope that speaking to a professional will prevent me from venting to you all—my friends, coworkers, LinkedIn connections, and Walmart greeters about yet another breakup with Sam. You all suggested that I go to therapy six years ago when Sam broke up with me for the first time, and I really meant to then, but after we got back together for the second, third, and even that sixth time, things really looked better! However, due to our most recent breakup, I can see how I was misguided.
A therapist could really help me come to terms with Sam and my sister’s accidental relationship. I know that there are a lot of temptations facing up-and-coming bar mitzvah DJs like Sam, and my grueling schedule as a part-time social worker, full-time Victoria’s Secret model only added additional strain to our relationship. I’m just hoping that whoever my therapist is can help me accept my role in his decision to sleep with not just Cassandra, but all three of my sisters.
Update: Thank you for taking the time to read, but after posting this, I texted Sam. He made very compelling arguments about how hard it is to find a decent guy and said that I might as well settle for him. He even sent me a dozen rose emojis. I really think that it’ll really be different this time! All money raised will now go to support Sam’s burgeoning reusable floss business.