Are you a middle aged man looking for a way to reclaim your lost youth, but you don’t think that a bitchin’ new sports car would cut it? I mean, sure, a BMW might impress some of the ladies that you’re looking to rebound with after your divorce, but every guy tries that. You’re the type of innovator who wants to go big and bold. That’s why I want your support as I try to create the world’s first airplane convertible.
While you might be able to feel the wind blowing through your hair in a convertible, imagine how much greater that will feel in your own airplane. Finally you will feel like a big man as you soar above the clouds and reach out like you’re trying to touch God himself. People are sure to envy you, like your asshole neighbor Dennis who parks his Ferrari in front of his house to show off. Except no one is going to be looking at Dennis’s stupid Ferrari if you have a goddamned airplane parked in front of yours!
Now there are those who might point out that taking the top off an airplane might be unsafe. But I’d say that these people aren’t thinking about the benefits. What better a way to take a woman’s breath away than to lift her up to 20,000 feet in the sky? You’ll officially be the coolest guy on your block as temperatures drop below -10 (oF) or colder. (So bundle up!) If you get worried about anything, fear not, you’ll be so oxygen deprived that you won’t even care as you experience the most blissful high from near-hypoxia.
This thing will be a real hot rod, too. Oh, Dennis thinks he’s hot shit because his Ferari has 500 horsepower? Try 9,500 horsepower in your new convertible 747! Oh, your car goes 0-60 in 4 seconds? Try going from 0-400 in 4 seconds! While every other guy is driving along the road at a meek 100mph, you’ll be soaring through the sky at 500mph telling everyone else to suck it.
Don’t be that guy who goes for the ordinary. Be the guy who goes for the extraordinary! By helping make my dream come true I promise I can help make yours come true. Please give and seriously, fuck Dennis.