Hello to anyone reading this. I know that JumpKick is home to many important fundraisers that support a multitude of worthy causes, but please don’t donate to this campaign. I do not have a cause that I am raising money for. I use this website for my mom to send me money to pay my rent without my dad knowing about it. This might not be the most honest way of doing things, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

My dad cut me off when I turned thirty-one because he was tired of financially supporting something that he just didn’t understand. It’s not because I’m gay or anything; it’s just that for the past seven years, I have been working on a puppet show about the tortoise from The Tortoise and The Hare. Obviously working on an artistic endeavor such as this isn’t always financially feasible, but I’ve been too busy with my work to get a “real job” in the meantime.

Despite my father’s lack of faith in my passions, my mom has always supported my creative expressions. She’s so supportive that she’s even willing to go behind my dad’s back to send me money through a crowdfunding site so he thinks that it’s just some charitable donation she made. Which technically it is. Because we’re doing this on a fundraising website, any money she sends through it is still a tax write-off, so in a way I’m helping them out too. You’re welcome, dad!

Since last year when my dad kicked me out, I’ve been living in an apartment in Brooklyn. Now he thinks that I teach math at a middle school on the Upper West Side. My roommate also doesn’t know that my mom pays my rent, so if you see this and you know him, be cool. My roommate thinks that I’m a bartender at Bubba Gump Shrimp in Times Square at night, but I’m usually at a rehearsal space working on my show. I don’t even think Bubba Gump Shrimp has a bar. 

Again, I do not need any financial support from anyone besides my parents. Please do not donate to this campaign. Instead you can use that money to get tickets to my puppet show “What Goes On Inside The Shell” coming soon to a theater near you!