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If you’re like us, you’ve lost countless nights of sleep over the unconscionable crimes you’ve committed while in uniform… against fashion! After another day of putting a boring black band over our badge numbers, we asked ourselves: why should police officers continue to sacrifice style while obscuring justice? We are proud to introduce the world’s first enamel pins designed exclusively for the band covering your badge number!

Our designs are hand tested to ensure the band covering your badge number will not slip out of place and expose you to accountability. This is also a product you can feel good about as all of our materials are ethically sourced from companies whose mission statements said that they were ethical. Plus, our pins are so charming, your constituents will completely forget about the homeless shelter that was closed to pay for your uniform!

We know how invested police are in ignoring social causes, so we’ve created pins to show that cops can be allies too! Wear our “girl power” pin to flex your total commitment to women’s issues except when it is an inconvenience to your department. Slay! Or how about our stunning “There’s no Planet B” pin to show your support in using carbon-free weapons to assault civilians? These pins also work beautifully on the tape covering your bodycam!

But wait, can’t a citizen assaulted by an officer identify them by the pins covering their badge number? We’re a step ahead of you—by selling these in multi-packs. Now you and your whole crew can match with our adorable enamel pins while completely avoiding culpability. Show off your unique style—by looking just like all of your friends!

So the next time that you’re caught on tape attacking a journalist, make sure to save yourself the embarrassment of a plain, unadorned band. The fashion police have spoken: it is a crime to cover your badge number without our pins! 

Author:
@ally_mason_