Clowns are some of the most treasured figures of our culture that have been with us in our darkest of moments. Despite this, clowns have lost popularity in recent years and it seems that they’re on a downward spiral towards obsoleteness. That’s why I’m creating something that will revolutionize clowning for years to come and fill the world with joy—Funeral Clowns.
We’ve all heard of birthday clowns, but when was the last time you saw a clown at a funeral?
Imagine: you’re gathered around the body of your loved one as they are lowered into the ground. Your heart is broken, your soul has been torn from within, and then you look over to your left and see a clown playing a slide whistle. Suddenly, the death of your grandfather isn’t so bleak and you find a reason to smile again.
Just think of how fun your next open-casket funeral will be when a silly, face-painted man comes marching up with a ten pound bag of jelly beans and empties it into the coffin of your loved one. You might be sobbing uncontrollably but nobody will be able to tell after you get a face full of pie from one of these jokers. These are just some of the many wacky services that our trained clowns offer, all at affordable package prices. Some might say that clowns are inappropriate at funerals, but I believe that clowns are the only thing strong enough to stand up against the grim reaper.
We’re just a small, local operation currently, but with the proper funding, we can recruit even more clowns and begin reaching out to mourning families across the country. Hopefully, in a few short years, you’ll see one of our clowns at the next funeral you attend!