Hey there, fellow patriots! I’m here to tell you about a project that’s essential to our movement, but we can’t get it off the ground without your help! Everyone knows that the performing arts are a bastion of liberal idealism and brainwashing, primarily targeting the most vulnerable members of society: children and white women.
That’s why we need to infiltrate the world of theatre with Avenue QAnon. This wonderfully charming production will use cute and cuddly puppets to help beautiful, red-blooded Americans of all ages and denominations of Christianity realize that every day they’re being lied to, controlled, and hunted by those who claim to protect them. So join in on the fun!
The Story
After graduating from college, a young puppet named Kevin moves out of his parents’ home into a busy city that he thinks will be a liberal paradise. But Kevin soon learns that life is a little more complicated than he realized after meeting some of his neighbors on Avenue QAnon. They tell him about Mayor Q, the mystical leader of the block who, though he has never been seen by any of his followers, is powerful and wise. Through the teachings of Mayor Q, Kevin learns that he’s been lied to by everyone he thought he could trust. Now that he’s safely surrounded by people that believe exactly what he believes, Kevin can begin to spread his new teachings to those he loves before the Deep State has complete control.
But it’s not all sunshine and fun on Avenue QAnon. There’s some shady characters out and about, like Scoop, the fake news journalist who’s always up to suspicious activity, like only reporting on events as they happened. There’s Johnny, the drug dealer, who sells dangerous blue pills that brainwash people and make them incapable of free thought. And then there’s Puppet George Soros, who, if you’re not careful, will pay his hundreds of thousands of puppet followers to burn down your house, or even worse, get you kicked off Twitter!
Avenue QAnon teaches its audience the values of being yourself, helping others, and overthrowing the cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles running a global child sex-trafficking ring. You’ll leave the theater still singing along to songs like “Free Thinkers All Agree”, “The Internet is for 4chan”, and the instant classic, “I’m Not Saying the Jews Did It, But…”
Support Us
Despite how much of this project is going exactly the way we expected it to, we still have a long way to go. Avenue QAnon has been rejected by every single theater we pitched the show to, so part of this funding will also go to building a theater for the show to be performed in. This was expected seeing as Broadway is the east coast version of Hollywood, allowing the liberal elite to continue to silence us. Also the script is not done being written yet because we’re still waiting on Q to post the third act, but when they do, I’m sure it will be exactly as revolutionary as they said it will be.
We’ll add your name to the show’s website and the list of those who will be protected when The Storm is upon us! This way, people know you contributed and you’ll live to experience the world when it becomes a better place!
You get the above salvation incentive as well as an official Avenue QAnon hat!
All lower tier perks as well as a copy of the Avenue QAnon cast album! This features all of the songs in the show with the addition of some exclusive album-only cuts like “The Children Are Safe With Us”, “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist (and That’s Okay!)”, and “The President’s Power Is What He Says It Is”.
447 backersReceive it all, including two tickets to a performance of Avenue QAnon! (Must be a weekday afternoon showing. Must be willing to sit on the floor. Must not tell anyone who sent you.)
132 backers