Do all of your friends call you gullible? Like so gullible that you’ll believe anything no matter how ridiculous it sounds? Well, maybe they’re just jealous of your blind faith in others. And I feel bad for them, since they’ll be missing out on the amazing curative power of my amazing essential oils!
Are you thinking about all of the bread that you can’t eat because of your severe gluten intolerance? Do you believe someone when they tell you that T-Pain is their cousin? If that’s the case, then you’ll be easily convinced that my lavender infused essential oils will cure your gluten intolerance. What, really? Yes! Your gluten sensitivity is completely gone! Eat that bread, girl! Since the oils remove all of the toxins as you eat, you can turn your gluten sensitivity to gluten superiority!
Has your haphazard lifestyle of steak and alcohol finally caught up to you, causing your big toe to suffer from the ravages of gout? Did your doctor say that you need to exercise and a change of diet? Well, the only thing that you truly have to change is ingesting my essential oils. Just chase your steak and wine with my rose oil, and I promise that you’ll be living your best life.
Have any other disorders and vague problems? The oil can probably cure those, too. If yoga and spirituality hasn’t cured your Lymes Disease or TMJ disorder yet, my magical essential oils will not fail you.
Rest assured that your health and wellbeing is in good hands if you choose to back my project. And remember that the more you donate, the more potent the oils will be.
Author: @Gricomet