Hey everyone, so I need… something. For a friend. But here’s the thing: I don’t know a guy. So I’m hoping maybe I can get some help. Does anybody know a guy?
Update: I’ve had some people ask me, hey man, aren’t you a guy? Well, technically I am a guy, but I’m not a guy, you know? Like nobody ever gets asked if they know a guy, and then calls me up. So I can’t be the guy that I am looking for.
Update: A few of you have introduced me to a friend of yours whose name is Guy. While I appreciate the effort, that’s not the kind of guy I mean. I’m looking for a guy, not a guy named Guy. Though I should say, if you know a guy, his name can be Guy. That’s not a problem.
Update: I need a guy, not a guy who knows a guy. Some of you guys have told me you know a guy who knows a guy, but if I take you up on that offer, what does that make me? A guy who knows a guy who knows a guy? That’s too many degrees of separation of guy to be considered useful.
Update: I forgot to make an important point: the guy doesn’t have to be a guy, meaning it can be a girl too. “Guy” is just “a person who can get you stuff” in this situation. If you know a girl that has all the stuff I need, you pretty much still “know a guy” for all intents and purposes. So if you know a guy, and the guy’s a girl, that works too. Thanks.