Ah Shit, the Bang Bus Broke Down!

Yesterday was a day like any other. There we were, driving down the 101 with some smoking hot college girls, dicks akimbo, when nearly all of our beloved Bang Bus’ warning lights lit up like a casino. Turns out we’d been so busy focusing on finding amateur co-eds to fuck that we forgot to have the ol’ girl serviced.

Now we’ve got quite a bill on our hands, and considering no insurance company will dare cover us, we find ourselves a bit short for the repairs. According to the auto repair guy (who is a REAL auto repair guy and not an actor in a costume) we need to replace the timing belt, the alternator, and the power steering pump. His estimate is about $4,000, and the sooner you can help us the sooner we can go back to raw dogging women under the guise of good samaritans offering rides to the mall.

UPDATES:

November 14th 9:45 PM: WOW! You guys! Our goal was reached in less than 12 hours! We were not expecting this type of support from our fans. The guy at the shop says he’ll have the van back in shape in less than a week. God bless you all.

November 15th 5:28 PM: Oh shit. It’s up to almost $10,000 Well we didn’t expect this, but this outpouring of the community has warmed our hearts. Because of your generosity, we’ll be able to not only have the Bang Bus running for years to come, but we can finally add some quality of life improvements like stain proof upholstery and top notch suspension. We will build it better, and stronger!

November 16th 3:31 PM: Over $15,000! We hear you loud and clear: you want this van be a state of the art leader in mobile sex field. With what we’ve raised, we can install several 8K cameras to bring our viewers clarity from angles they never thought possible. Remember that scene in The Matrix  when Keanu Reeves is dodging bullets in slow mo? Replace the bullets with cum and that’s how future this thing is going to look. 

November 17th 11:09 AM: $32,000!? You’re all amazing! We’re going to turn this Bang Bus into a Bang Home. The stain proof seats weren’t enough, so we’re going to have them also fold out to reveal a kiddie pool. Why? Well where else is going pump in 23 gallons of KY jelly? 

November 19th 12:24 PM: Welp, good news and bad news. The good news is the van is back up and running, the bad news is the shop said that none of what we’re trying to install is neither feasible nor practical. He offered to install satellite radio and attempt to shampoo the floor, but worry not because your generous donations will not go to waste. We’re proud to announce that we’re going to expand the Bang Bus into an entire fleet of sex on wheels. Four of them to be exact. So look out America, we’re gonna be rolling through your cities real soon, thanks to YOU!