Listen man, I wasn’t trying to be weird about you asking me for money. I’ve been there before, I know what it’s like, and I don’t want to embarrass you or anything. I wouldn’t even care dude, but seriously, you JUST asked me for $20 on Tuesday at that mall kiosk that sells hats with logos for sports teams but they’re in the colors of a different sports team. I don’t want this to be like a whole thing; I’m not trying to be a dick, I just don’t want this to be like a pattern or whatever.

Look, it’s not that I’m hurting for money man. We both know that I just got those new golf clubs, and how I threw them out the next day because they smelled funny. I’m perfectly fine giving out money to my buddies now and then. But you have a perfectly good job, or a credit card, or someone else you can ask for money, right? I mean, you should—it’s irresponsible not to. 

So yeah actually, not only am I not going to give you the $20, I now want that $20 that you owe me. Trust me, I’ve been there where you really want to get something stupid like a hat where the colors are different because you haven’t stopped to think: “Oh, I could just easily find this online somewhere later”. Unfortunately for you, I’m also not dumb as shit anymore, and I need that money to get a new Sublime poster for my dorm.