Our film, Cloudy With a Chance of Vegan Meatballs, is a remake that excludes all animal products from the original film in favor of healthful, sustainable substitutes. The goal is to bring this colorful kids movie to life in a way that doesn’t contribute to the mistreatment of animals, animated or otherwise.
This may not seem like a serious issue to some, but for us vegans, Hollywood is just another roadblock to the normalization of cruelty-free subsistence. If films can be translated into other languages, why can’t they be translated for people with different dietary lifestyles? That’s why I pledge, with your help, to prove that meat-free movies are possible for a mere 160% of the normal budget.
For those worried that taking meat and animal byproducts out of the movie will affect the story, fear not! Like with all vegetarian substitutes, you’ll never notice the difference. For example, the cheeseburgers that fall from the sky at the beginning will be cleverly replaced with veggie and bean burgers. Wouldn’t all the townsfolk be so much healthier if they ate those off the ground instead of beef?
Of course, since “meatball” is in the title, we can’t leave those out. You’ll be pleased to hear that we’re putting soy meatballs in the spaghetti tornado. Obviously these meatballs will still destroy the town, but at least we didn’t have to kill innocent animals to make them.
And that fan-favorite scene where sardine cannery-owner Brent is eaten by a chicken and becomes Chicken Brent? Well, now it’s a vegan chicken, but this time it actually kills him by breaking his spine after stabbing him over and over! HAHAHA eat shit, Brent! That’s what you get for building an empire on overfishing!
We hope you’ll join the cinema movement that we are trying to start here, and the best way to be a part of it is to donate and see the movie when it comes out. Our studio already has its eyes set on future projects, like replacing all the Krabby Patties in Spongebob with kelp and algae.
Our crew believes in wearing our values on our chests. This cruelty-free tee says “Produce Change” and will have your vegan friends rolling on the floor for hours.
We used real vegetables to create 3D models for this remake, and we want to share them with you. All 56 varieties of produce will be autographed by the cast and shipped to donors without preservatives.
Every vegan needs a great tool for cutting veggies. This limited-edition Japanese knife is engraved with the movie logo and is sharp enough to cut through, say, a carnivorous heathen.