Hello, my name is Craig Sullivan and for my entire life, I have loved cat cafes. The idea of enjoying a tranquil meal with a pleasant, adorable animal is everything to me, but recently I came to a realization: cats are terrible, vile creatures and I hate them.
Shrimp, on the other hand, are more cost-effective, space-effective, cuter, and a more human-friendly species. While cats are indifferent to your existence and only pretend to like you for food and litter box cleanings, shrimp are loyal creatures that are always excited to make new friends. Best of all, they won’t hiss at you for no reason before scampering off.
With your capital, I hope to build the world’s first shrimp cafe, where patrons can enjoy a cup of joe alongside the companionship of an adorable little decapod that will soothe and relax them. Each shrimp that I’m bringing along has its own unique personality and would love to meet you! We’ll even have lots of toys available so that you can play with your new aquatic friend while you enjoy a delicious set of freshly baked scones.
Now before any animal rights activists get all up in arms, I promise you that we will be exclusively using rescue shrimp, and if a regular customer finds themselves particularly taken by a certain shrimp, they can adopt them and bring them home as their new pet! And for our Catholic patrons, during the season of Lent, any shrimp is also available for frying and serving with a delectable homemade aioli sauce.
All shrimp will live on the premises while being cared for by myself and the 10+ staff members I will need to maintain the luxurious lifestyle the animals deserve. I also plan on renting out the cafe for private parties, weddings, and other events so that you can give the shrimp-lover in your life the dream party they deserve.
This is an ambitious project, so I need all the financial support I can get from those who truly believe in my mission of creating a sanctuary for people and shrimp. Donate today if you’re sick of cafes that only let you hangout with cats and other people! If we exceed our goal, I do have plans for expansion, including multiple chains across the country, and in fact am workshopping the idea of pioneering the world’s first Bee Cafe as well!