Because we live in an ever-increasingly interconnected and technology-driven world, I have to turn to you, my JumpKick backers, for assistance. Sometime last week, I had an idea, and that idea was to make ramen noodles. I had to get out of bed, and go to the kitchen to heat up the water, and at some point I set my phone down somewhere, and fuck if I can remember where. I need your help to get me a new one.
It was a bold vision that I had, to make ramen noodles while stoned. I had even thrown some sriracha in there like a proper chef. It’s understandable, obviously, that I would have gotten distracted and forgot where I put my phone. The phone itself was an iPhone 11, which I hope to replace so that I can continue to run my popular Instagram meme account, which now has 610 followers.
On top of the Instagram account, I could use the phone to do the following things:
– Take photos
– Set up a Tinder profile so that grandma will get off my back about grandkids
– Call my parents when I need something (which counts as organizing a charity)
As a stretch goal for this campaign, I would also be willing to develop a profile on Hinge just in case I’m not getting much traction on Tinder. I would hate to lie to my backers about my capabilities, and I think real transparency is important when asking other people to make financial decisions.
UPDATE: Thanks for reading this, Mom. Also, can you please transfer that money into my checking account this week?