Remember the last time you saw a youngster lost in thought, happily and intently scribbling away at a coloring book? Think hard, because it was probably around 2012. At that time, the disgraceful and disgusting adult coloring book movement took hold, devoiding the world of the beloved traditional format forevermore.
Our mission at HUE-venile is to bring back quality coloring books for actual fucking children. There’s a common misconception that they became passé due to dwindling interest. The truth is, society sacrificed a real child in favor of an inner child.
Millennials hogging entire Starbucks conference tables to work on ikat trellis designs! Grandma and her nursing home pals ignoring you to focus on paisley and fleur-de-lis patterns! Who do they think they are reverting back to infancy like that––Benjamin Button?
Our company’s founder is an average mom who noticed that the kid’s menu at Olive Garden was among the last remaining creative outlets (***only for children age 10 and under***). Most family budgets and waistlines cannot afford to indulge in artichoke dip and unlimited breadsticks whenever their budding Picasso is compelled to express themselves.
Now you might be asking, “Why not just utilize the vast array of adult coloring books already available?” Well, the brain activity of kids today has practically flat-lined from thousands of hours watching the Baby Shark video on YouTube, so complex illustrations would prove far too overwhelming. For this reason, we are committed to dumbing it down and keeping it simple! Our pages will showcase classic 2D images of sailboats, bananas, a farmer holding a rake, Saturn, and a fairy waving hello to a happy fish.
Contributions will fund our ambitious production costs. 20 pages is our target; that’s 100,000% fewer pages than the average adult coloring-book, but we believe in quality over quantity. To further our commitment to the arts, HUE-venile pledges not to muddy the waters with crossword puzzles, word-finds, or connect-the-dots.
If successful in this pursuit, our next step is to delve into the world of sports. Dodgeball, kickball, frisbee—all have been hijacked by man-children, and we feel it’s time to reclaim such leagues for youth today. Thanks for your support!