Let’s be real: therapy is expensive, dull, and makes me feel weird. You’re likely looking at $100 to $200 a session for the privilege. Let’s split the difference and say I find someone top-notch for $150. If they want to meet weekly — and by the time I get to my high school memories, they will no doubt require it — that’s $7,800 annually.

It’ll optimistically take two years of this stuff for me to talk through my breakups alone, which will be a whopping $15,600. Some see that as the necessary cost of improvement. I see cash better spent on an environment built for getting mad about arguments that haven’t happened yet.

So why not make a room just for screaming into the void? It’s affordable, probably adds value to the house I rent, and may be the only positive thought I’ve had at 4 A.M. I don’t even need to leave my home for psychological relief, which is perfect because I haven’t had the motivation to go outside in two weeks.

Let’s break down my costs: I found a contractor that charges $120 per square foot plus 50% for overhead, so that’s $4680 for a 13 by 13 foot space. It’s not the biggest room in the world, but I don’t feel like I deserve any better and I’ve channeled that spirit into a cost-cutting benefit.

When it comes to the all-important soundproofing, you can spend $1000 to $2500 a room, but there are also some top-end options as high as $4000. I’ve been informed multiple times in past experiments that egg cartons glued to the inside of my wardrobe are inadequate. If my father visits at any point — which he no doubt will, when he needs something — I’ll have to drop some serious coin.

Altogether, that’s $8,680 of my $10,000 goal. This leaves a comfortable $1,320 for potential extra furnishings like chairs, lamps, poster prints of my former boss, distorted circus-like mirrors, or a speaker system that plays Damien Rice albums on a loop.

Thanks for taking the time to read this! I hope you can contribute whatever you can. If all else fails and we can’t hit the goal, I’ll also take a big pillow. Either way.