While this generous support goes a long way toward helping make the dream of a sweet hang sesh a reality, we still have a long way to go if we’re going to get this campaign fully off the ground. 

What I’m saying is that we need a ride home, because my mom said no. Dancing with the Stars is on tonight and she doesn’t want to leave the house to pick up “a bunch of sweaty teenage boys.” So I am humbly asking you guys to ask your parents if one of them can pick us up. 

What is This Campaign About? 

Simply put, I am seeking an investment of time and gas from one of your moms who would be willing to drive all of us home from the mall this evening. Dads are fine too, but I didn’t want to say that since Mark’s dad moved out last year. 

What Are the Benefits?

This is a twofold answer. As someone with a stake in the campaign, you would be reaping the benefits of chillin at the mall. The food court has one of those frozen yogurt places where they weigh it before you pay and my brother showed me how to set the cup down a certain way so that you don’t get charged as much. He says it totally works most of the time too. There’s a GameStop on the second floor and I bet we can all take turns playing Smash Bros. on the Switch. Plus I heard Jenny from homeroom has a hot older cousin who works there too. I’ve got dibs on her. 

But what about your parents? As an early backer of the mall trip, your mom or dad (sorry, Mark!) would have early access to any kickass mall stories that happened a full twenty-four hours before they became available to the public when we tell them in class tomorrow. You can’t put a price on that. 

Speak to your parents today about donating their evening to giving us a ride home so they don’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And please hurry. I think my mom is about to open the Chardonnay and then we’re screwed.