We all know that condoms don’t feel the same as the real thing. Look on every store shelf and you’ll see condom packs featuring a picture of two hands interlocked with phrases like “no feel” or “ultra thin” all over them. Condoms are important: they protect against pregnancy, STDs, and HIV, but they just feel… eh. This is why we want to create Triple Ultras: The Thinnest Possible Condom That You’ll Probably End Up Tossing On The Floor Anyway Because Fuck It, Whatever.
The idea for Triple Ultras was coined when a group of guys were talking about how raw dogging it is so much better, but then our buzzkill friend Tommy brought up how he tested positive for gonorrhea. He lectured us on the importance of safe sex before admitting that he had unprotected sex again the night before because like, it was probably fine. That was when we decided to create the thinnest possible condom, so that both parties could feel immense pleasure by impulsively sticking it in au naturel in the heat of the moment.
With this condom, you won’t have to have those dreaded “Are you having unprotected sex with anyone else?” or “Are you on birth control?” conversations, because those conversations are awkward and it’s better to just not think about it.
So if you want a condom that you will only use for thirty seconds maximum before telling your partner, “I can’t cum with a condom on” and then insist that you’ve been tested at some point in time, please donate to our fund to make Triple Ultras a reality.