Hey there, friends. I’ve got some exciting news! After years of abstaining from substance abuse of any kind, I am jumping ship and giving weed a try! And the best part? I met some really nice guys who said they’d sell me a whole gram for $75, which is apparently a great deal!
I’ve never seen a whole gram of pot in person, but I imagine it looks like those bags they have on the table when my dad has a press conference with the police. All wrapped in cellophane and visibly illegal! What a treat!
This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and it’s supposed to take place behind a Reebok outlet store tomorrow after school!
Not only that, but the generous fellows who are cutting me this sweet deal have also offered to smoke the stuff with me! Can you imagine, a noob like me puffing and passing with the champs? I can’t miss out on this! Donate now!
Update: Okay everyone, I am being offered something really special; not only will I get to smoke real pot with these veteran stoners, but they’ve promised to give me a pinch of “the good stuff.” All I know about it is that it’s supposed to smell like fresh herbs and spices and make me cough really hard.
I really need the money because I don’t want them to run out and miss my probably only chance to smoke with these guys! Anyway, all help is appreciated!