October isn’t easy for us pumpkins. Between being judged on our appearance and shape and then getting carved up into Jack-O-Lanterns, we can’t catch a break. Some of us fare better than others. I got lucky this time around and was beautifully decorated by an artistic young mother who carved me into a surprisingly intricate witch. I had it good though. There’s no easy way to say this but: the kid who lives here really fucked up our buddy’s face.
All of us on this front porch set up this fundraiser to help the guy out. I think the kid was trying to carve a castle or a car into him? I don’t know what it was—he’s three years old and shouldn’t even be using a knife anyway. I understand that you have to start somewhere, but that doesn’t mean you can just let your child go wild when there are lives at stake.
I mean, just look at him. It makes me sick thinking about what it must feel like to be completely gutted and collapsed in on yourself like that. This guy has done so much for the pumpkin community and it’s such a shame he’s going to have to go back to his wife and kids after a hack job like that. How is he going to provide for his family this year? If you put a candle inside of him, he’s going to melt from the inside, if he doesn’t burn this house down… No pumpkin deserves to be so dishonored on our sacred holiday.
Please, if you have some extra money, help us fix our friend up. We want to get him a nice, clean, classic smile. It would mean the world to him. If we raise enough funds, we’re teaming up with the Gourds Union to sue the family for malpractice. It’s really important that we stick together through times like this. As we always say, “It’s not just a pumpkin patch, it’s a pumpkin family”.