I’ve been on vacation in a coastal town for a few weeks now. Every day when I go out to the beach, I always come across this very sad old man walking around with a metal detector. Morning to night he meanders around the shore, looking for something metallic to fill the void in his heart.
Recently I watched him as he unearthed a belt buckle from beneath the sand. For the first time, he didn’t look like he was about to cry. He smiled the biggest, toothiest smile that I’ve ever seen.
When I asked the locals about him, I learned that his entire family went missing in a mysterious Disney-on-Ice Cruise shipwreck. He scours the beaches closest to the last known location of the ship in the hopes that he’ll come across any signs that his family might have survived.
I can’t bring his family back, but with your help, I can make sure he finds something way cooler than a belt buckle. If we can raise enough money for just a few bars of gold, I will leave a message and a treasure map in a bottle along the beach. These documents will send the old man on a huge months-long treasure hunt across the entire globe where he’ll discover clues, unearth gold, and discover a little bit about himself along the way.
I care deeply about this sad old man, and I hope you do too. Please help me guide him to finding true happiness.
UPDATES:
August 2nd 7:29 AM: Wow guys! I’m literally in tears right now. The generosity that’s been coming through for me and my old man friend has been overwhelming. The treasure hunt is ready to go and I’ll be placing the first clue on his beach route tomorrow. Will keep you all posted.
August 12th 5:30 PM: Okay, he’s having a lot of trouble finding the first gold bar. I’ve been following him for weeks, and he is 100% convinced that he’s supposed to be looking in Akron, Ohio. I have gone to the Akron Zoo more than ten times, and I refuse to go again. I’m flying to Rome tomorrow to dig up the treasure and rebury it outside the one place on the top 20 restaurants in Akron that I haven’t eaten at yet. Unfortunately, that means that he won’t get to explore the Vatican Necropolis and learn that the things that unite humanity are stronger than our religious differences, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make to get us out of Akron.
August 17th 5:30 PM: So I overcompensated after the Akron ordeal. I buried the second gold bar in a really shallow hole outside of his motel, but I’m pretty sure somebody else found it…
August 29th 3:23 PM: Good news, guys! I got the old man back on track, and everything has been going perfectly so far. He’s learning that there is more to life than wandering the beach and living in the past. He’s been exploring the New Zealand countryside, meeting exciting people with storied pasts, and creating memories to last the rest of his life. I think he might even be falling in love with his travel companion: a woman with her own mysterious motives and a penchant for adventure.
September 7th 10:04 AM: Well… after he found the last of the gold bars he went back home and used the money to buy a really expensive metal detector. He went right back to combing through the beach for clues about his family’s true fate. I guess there are some people you can’t fix… This is the end of my vacation. I can’t keep projecting anymore; I have to go home and work on mending my relationship with my real father.