Like everyone else, I have a hard time processing and expressing strong emotions. I mean, who has the energy these days to parse through all of those mixed signals and feelings in their brain, let alone try to put them into words for someone else to understand? It’s so much quicker and easier to just let it all out in one go by going wild and breaking a bunch of shit. Throw a lamp, shatter a plate, or my favorite: punch a hole in the wall. But have you ever noticed how hard drywall is?
I mean seriously, it’s like that shit is made to not get punched though. Whenever I take a swing at my wall, I barely put a dent in it and my hand ends up sore and I can’t make a fist or hit things for a few days, which makes me even angrier. So, in order to maintain my sanity and properly express myself, I need your help to replace my walls with a weaker material that will be easier to drive my fist through.
There are a bunch of options here like that weird cardboard brick shit they staple to the wall at family pizza places, or particle boards, or like those paper shoji doors from Japan. The list of things that are easier to punch through that drywall goes on! And for the record: it’s not like I’m too weak to punch through drywall, I just can’t afford to injure my hand anymore, emotionally or financially.
Some losers think I would be better served taking the money from this campaign and using it to start seeing a good therapist but you know what? That kind of talk won’t get you an invite to punch through my new, easier to destroy walls with me once they’re replaced. So your call.