Times are tough right now, and we’re all looking for ways to get a little extra cash in our pockets. That’s why I came up with an ingenious plan for myself which is to sell oregano to 6th-8th graders at a crazy markup by telling them it’s weed. And, for a limited time only, if you help me with buying the initial stock, I’ll even cut you in.
Now don’t think I haven’t done my research. I already have the ideal starting point for our clientele. There’s a 12-year-old who lives down the street from me who just started wearing a Dark Side of the Moon shirt like three days out of the week, which makes him the perfect mark as an entry level stoner who doesn’t actually know shit and for sure has other friends in the same boat.
And I know that kids these days aren’t as dumb as we were. Thankfully, I have years more of life experience that l can use to outmaneuver them. When they come back to complain that the “pot” didn’t get them high, I’ll tell them it’s a new strain with a cumulative effect so they have to smoke more for it to hit right, and boom we’ve made another sale. By contributing now, you’re buying into a fruitful and lasting economic model for the both of us.
Plus, you know, this is sort of a public service when you think about it. The kids are learning an important lesson about being too trusting and we’re keeping them away from more dangerous fake options, like the synthetic stuff that head shops push. Instead of having seizures and dying, they just wind up smelling like Italian food. It’s a win for everybody and will lead to a safer community.